In time my body didn’t seem to matter anymore. It simply wasn’t being attended to any longer. Yet somehow that freed up something else inside of me to notice the energy and the presence of what I must really be. The past had been reviewed to death a million times over. The future was fuel for insanity when you have no way of knowing if you will exist in the next day or the next minute. All that was left was the present, but even that doesn’t accurately describe the experience. What was actually left was the absence of past and future, or of time as we know it. It became blurry and undefined. Within this timeless darkness I began to perceive beyond the confines of my prison. I can’t explain how, I just did. And I began to sense what my body could not possibly be feeling, it wasn’t local anymore.
Then one moment it happened. I experienced the thought that my body wasn’t solid anymore, not in the way I had believed it to be before. And in that moment, the shackles simply slid off, or they slipped through me. Something like that anyway. Then I felt the energy rise up within my core and lift me up. I realized I wasn’t really standing or walking anymore, it was more like floating. I also discovered that I didn’t need to see the way because I just knew where to go and what to do. It was the easiest thing I have ever experienced.
When I eventually emerged from the long, dark tunnel and into the light I could finally see myself. I was glowing and hardly resembled the woman that had gone into that place so long ago. It was very surreal and quite blissful.
I could still see the world, but the world didn’t seem to be able to see me. It could sense my presence, but not really comprehend what I was. Some saw light, others felt tingly, and still others seemed to hear my thoughts. I no longer felt fear. It was so serene. I knew this was what it was all for, the reason I could endure the suffering that brought me here. Now I could share completely without reservation. Now I was liberated from all that I thought I had to do and be. Now I knew heaven was here all along, as was hell. The difference lie within us rather than out there somewhere.
I know it all sounds too simple and even a bit trite. I thought I understood these platitudes too before I went in there. Now I know I didn’t have a clue what they were really pointing to. I pray you can see me, hear me, sense me and understand what I have come to know. That is my gift to you, to liberate you from your prison before you have to endure what I did. That is my gift of liberation for you!
Welcome to my Painted Journey. I invite you to join me as I explore this process of intuitive painting, uncensored writing and somatic awareness. This work is calling me out of my Spiritual/Creative Closet. It is a passionate adventure in re-discovering why I am here and I know that by sharing the journey we will grow and learn together! ♡ Jeanette
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